


Was It A Dream?

by zilah



Category: Sherlock Holmes (1984 TV), Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-05
Updated: 2011-11-05
Packaged: 2017-10-25 17:55:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zilah/pseuds/zilah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watson's thoughts during and after the Hiatus</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was It A Dream?

**Author's Note:**

> Sad but true: they are not mine but belong to Arthur Conan Doyle. I just play with them. No one pays me.  
> Thank you so much for your help with my story, Trista Black! Without you, I was lost.  
> This story was inspired by the one of the most beautiful songs I know: Sibelius' Var Det En Dröm? The translation of the lyrics are at the end of the story.

_Watson:_

It was too beautiful to be true. To have you finally, after long years of secret yearning, to hear you say those three little words to me... it was the closest thing to heaven I had ever known.

I should have realized that something was wrong. Your lips whispered words of love, but your eyes were sad. There was desperation in your embrace; you grasped me so tightly, as if you were afraid that I would disappear in the next moment. I tried to soothe you, to assure that I would never leave you, but my desire overwhelmed me and we made love under the clear night sky. I will never forget how beautiful you were, lying on the green meadow naked, moonlight reflecting in your eyes.

Again and again I ask myself: why I didn't ask you the reason for your sadness? Did you somehow foresee your fate waiting for you? I have cursed countless times my blindness; my reluctance to see the truth.

Was it true at all? Did you really love me, or were those beautiful moments together only your attempt to grasp life you felt slipping through your fingers?

The agony is still as fresh as it was three years ago. Every night I cry myself to sleep, feeling a gaping hole within me. I know I will never be whole again without you. And even worse than longing is the uncertainty.

Was the most beautiful night in my whole life only a dream?

* * * *

I know this must be a dream. You cannot be here in my consulting room, extending your arms invitingly, ready to embrace me. Darkness consumes me and I know no more.

When I finally wake, I feel the taste of brandy on my lips. Even sweeter is the taste of your mouth, when you devour me with similar longing to that I have felt during the long and dark years of our separation.

“What... how?” I try to ask, but you don't give me one second to gather my thoughts. I don't know how we came to my bedroom, or where our clothes disappeared to. Never have I given myself to another man like this, but with you it felt the most natural thing. My body gave in surprisingly easily, when you claimed me as your own. I wept hot tears when you rocked gently within me, pulling me with you to the waves of pure bliss.

“Please... please... don't let this be a dream!” I begged aloud, holding you tightly against me, when we finally basked in the afterglow of our lovemaking, I knew that if you disappeared now, it would be my end.

“This is not a dream, my love. I will never leave you again, my dear, dear Watson,” you whisper and kiss me into the most blissful slumber I have ever known.

 

FIN.

 

****

 

 _Was it a dream that once, in a wonderful time,  
I was your heart's true love?  
I remember it as a song fallen silent,  
of which the strains still echo._

 _I remember a rose you tossed,  
a glance so shy and tender;  
I remember a sparkling tear when we parted.  
Was it all, all a dream?_

 _A dream as brief as the life of a cowslip  
in a green meadow in springtime,  
whose beauty soon withers away  
before a crowd of new flowers._

 _But many a night I hear a voice  
through the flood of my bitter tears:  
hide this memory deep in your heart,  
it was your best dream!_


End file.
